The hospital and associated workers have provided a welcoming and positive atmosphere and my fellow orientees helped me feel that my newness was not so dissimilar to theirs.
It was a gentle week, but today was a day to not do much at all. I guess I’m getting a bit jittery to be heading to the ward next week. I believe this will be a good experience, that I will learn a lot and that I will gain a flow to my work that only comes with practice.
Cammie has been out a few times to the comedy festival…and that’s a really good thing. Radar has enjoyed getting all wet and muddy walking in the rain. And that’s a messy thing- but it is neat to see a happy dog.
I am doing ok. Every so often I get a moment or two when I genuinely feel happy and pleased. I look forward to longer and longer periods like that. I think the times when I will be giving at work- and hopefully positively impacting people around me- will increase those moments. It is good to feel useful and helpful.
Ahh- I still miss Loren. Today when I was not doing much at all- in some pain- it would have been so wonderful to have his arm around me. But I am learning. Sometimes living my life solo now, feels like a brand new bike rider suddenly being aware no one is holding onto the back wheel……WOBBLY.
I am trying to remember deep, deep beliefs that carried me before and fed my desire to learn and grow and give. That is, that I, like each human, am deeply loved and secure. Love is stronger than hate, good outlasts harm and I am never alone. I have many generous and gracious reminders . A phone call, a visit, an email, a smile, a text, a hug…from many of you. I look again at photos, cards, some memento ….and you all are participating in that deep, deep insurmountable Love. I know so many of you have kept me and mine in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you.
May you be encouraged and supported this day and this week. When problems seem to expand and you wonder whether you have what it takes to get through them, may you remember past challenges that somehow you kept one foot in front of the other and made it through to the other side of. May the certainty that you matter, that you are loved- permeate you and fill you with hope.