December 10th

Dear friends and family

6 months ago, Loren left this world for the next. What a journey it has
been for those he left behind!

In the early months, the first one almost 2, I was so supported by the
hallowed experience of walking that path with Loren, and having the support
of so many beside me.

And then I started to walk into the lived experience of Loren's absence.
And it hurt. Boy did it hurt. There aren't really words to express the
depths of emotions that had to be felt in the months since. Here I was,
someone so confident in Love. So confident in Hope..and still- the deep
deep caverns of loneliness, anger, pain, and loss had to be felt. Probably
more to come. Faith, God, love..they don't disappear..but deeper emotions
than ever felt before o'erwhelm(ed?) me. Grief creates a fragility of
spirit even in those with great support.

All the feelings must be felt with the power of the largest storms.

Still... it is a season where I know what it means to walk in darkness and
wait for a great light. And today, at this moment, I can hope for it.

This journey takes energy from places you never knew existed. There is no
way to properly describe it,

I will be different. I will listen to sorrow in a different way. I now
know that it costs- BEING present- it costs. But it is felt and
appreciated.

Blessings on all who stop and listen.who take the time to BE with those who
suffer. May God pour out His blessing and love on you and may there be
reward you never expected.

Love
Felicia
PS

6 months today. Remembering with gratitude.