Loren & Felicia

Loren & Felicia

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Late Afternoon Pause...

I was standing in line today at the bank when I saw the date and it hit me…. in 2 days it will be a month since Loren died.  A month!!

Blinking fast and doing my best to swallow, I just wished he was here.

And someone in front of me moved…. so I moved up and carried on. Most of carrying on and being happy is a decision.  I let the moments come, overwhelm me as they happen, and then I move up the line.

My email army keeps me accountable and mindful of the choices I’m making. Not that I’m liable to listen to everyone who thinks they know how to run my life, but I am going to listen if you care about me and there’s something you think I might not have thought about.

Someone special told me a story today about being a kite and needing an anchor or someone at the end of the line who keeps you from flying off or smashing into the ground. In many ways, Loren allowed me to fly high and helped me to have direction and security. But he was not the one who is my anchor.

That would be my God. And I am confident that He will continue to keep me safe and guide me. Sometimes He will use some of you to reign me in…. and sometimes He will let me soar - with nothing but His own hand on the string. Sometimes that will look as if He’s let go… but He never will.

Enjoy the summer evening,


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